History
by MyGirlCrais
Summary: Post ITLD:WISC. Crais wakes from a twomonen coma with total amnesia. Helped by carer Carma he works to regain his identity while Talyn is repaired, but all that glitters is not gold...
1. Awakenings

Timing: post-season 3 end  
  
Spoilers: seasons 1-3, so far mainly 3:20 and 3.21 (ITLD)  
  
Disclaimer: Farscape is the property of the Jim Henson Company, Channel 9 and Hallmark Entertainment.  
  
A/N: another 'Crais is alive' story. This is just the first chapter, but there's more coming.  
  
  
'History'  
  
Chapter 1: Awakenings  
  
Voices in the darkness, suddenly there were voices in the darkness. He couldn't make out the words but he could hear them. Until now he hadn't realised that all he could hear was silence.  
  
"Any change?" a gruff voice said from beside him, the words suddenly familiar to him.  
  
A sigh came from his other side. "Still nothing." A musical voice, one that made him feel strangely calm and comforted. "Has any progress been made with the gunship?"  
  
The gruff voice again. "Its systems have been overloaded, over 98% of the data stored has been lost and we can't pull it out of sleep mode either. It's in worse shape than this one."  
  
"Will he wake up?"  
  
He sensed movement around him. "I wish I could tell you." The voice softened. "We're trying."  
  
"Did you find out who they are?" The music voice again.  
  
"All the records are gone. We searched the entire ship and found nothing identifying either of them. But that ship is Peacekeeper, Carma and he was in Peacekeeper uniform when we found him."  
  
Carma, that was what the musical voice was called.  
  
"So what do we do if he wakes up?" Carma said. "And what do we do if he doesn't?"  
  
Her questions weren't answered.  
  
"I have great faith in you," the gruff voice said, with obvious affection. He sensed movement once more, and a few moments later heard a door closing.  
  
Carma sat down by the bed and looked at her patient, still oblivious to his surroundings. She took his hand in hers and rested her elbow on the bedside as she looked into his face. "Live," she said. "And wake." There was no response.  
  
He heard her.  
  
Laying his hand back down she slowly got up and began, once again, to study the results of her scans. As she worked she softly began to sing a song unfamiliar to him. The voice first seemed to strengthen, but soon it began to fade into the darkness as the silence returned.  
  
***  
  
No voices, but no more silence. He could feel now, feel himself lying there. He tried to move his hand, but failed. He tried to move his mouth to form words, but failed. He focused all his attention on his eyes and slowly managed to open them. His vision was blurry at first, but it grew sharper. All he could see was a white ceiling above him. He couldn't move his head to see anywhere else. He was alone.  
  
Struggling to control the panic that wanted to rise up in him at being paralysed, he focused on recovering movement. He had no way of knowing how long it was that he lay there, struggling to regain control over his limbs. He felt weak and vulnerable. At that moment the only thing he was certain of was that he didn't like feeling like that.  
  
It wasn't until he tried to sit up that he realised he was locked into a medical stabiliser. There was nothing more he could do, except wait for someone to find him. He didn't even know if that someone would be a friend or a foe.  
  
Suddenly he heard footsteps behind him, and then saw a face looking down at him. Blue eyes met his.  
  
"You're awake," Carma said.  
  
"Yes," he said, trying out his own voice. It sounded deeper than he had expected.  
  
"Who are you?" she asked.  
  
He strained to remember. Finally he found that there was only one answer he could give. "I do not know."  
  
"What do you remember?"  
  
"Nothing," he said, the panic threatening to rise up once again.  
  
She unlocked him and helped him to sit up. She walked over to her workbench and came back with a mirror, which she gave to him. He brought it up so it was level with his face, wondering what he would see.  
  
A face looked back at him. It had long, dark, wavy hair, a neat beard and dark eyes. It looked like a perfectly good face.  
  
He just didn't know whose it was.  
  
"Does that help?" Carma asked, sitting down beside him.  
  
He turned to look at her. "I...do not know who that man is," he said. "And I do not know who you are."  
  
"That part is because we have never met before," she said. "My name is Rayli Carma."  
  
He looked at her properly now. She was Sebacean. She had hair down to her shoulders in a soft shade of brown, in direct contrast to her vivid eyes. Her skin was pale. He was sure that she was telling the truth, they had never met before. He would have remembered her, even if he couldn't remember himself.  
  
"Is there anything that you can tell me about myself?" he asked, feeling awkward.  
  
"We tried to find out who you were," she said, "but we found nothing. There isn't much that I can tell you. You are Sebacean, we found you in a Peacekeeper Captain's uniform on board a part-Peacekeeper, part-Leviathan gunship. The gunship was heavily damaged, all its systems were overloaded and its left starburst fin was missing. You were on the floor of the ship's command in a deep coma, with severe injuries to the back of your neck. There was so much debris in the wound you nearly died of metal poisoning, even after we got it all out."  
  
He instinctively reached up to feel the back of his neck. It felt smooth, no sign of an injury or scar.  
  
"How long have I been unconscious?" he asked uneasily.  
  
She bit her lip. "It's been over two monens," she said, gently.  
  
He ran the back of his hand over his forehead.  
  
"I have no memory of any of this," he said. "I do not remember being a Peacekeeper, I do not remember owning a ship and I have no idea what could have happened to put me into a coma. I...do not even know my own name."  
  
"I hope that your memory will return in time," she said. "Until then, I think I will call you Asan."  
  
"Why Asan?"  
  
"It was my brother's name," Carma said, "he died when we were children."  
  
"It is very...disorienting...not to know who I am."  
  
"Can you walk?" She asked suddenly.  
  
He slowly got off the bed, his legs collapsed under him. "I does not seem so," he said, his pride hurting at being helpless.  
  
She crouched down beside him and met his eyes. "You've made remarkable progress considering that a few hours ago you couldn't even move your head."  
  
"You were watching me," he stated.  
  
"Do you believe that I generally leave my patients unattended for that long? I thought you would appreciate having time to make progress by yourself. The rest will come, and soon."  
  
"And what shall I do until then?" he asked.  
  
"I'll find you a chair sled and we will go to visit your ship. Maybe that will help you to regain your memory."  
  
He had to lean on her heavily to get back onto the bed. It only made him more determined to recover quickly. He could control his body, even if he couldn't control his mind.  
  
***  
  
"Why did you rescue me?" he asked, as they moved slowly along the corridor.  
  
Carma smiled at him. "As a rule we like to keep away from outsiders. We do not allow visitors or trading parties to land. However we maintain constant long-range scans for distress calls and damaged ships, and these we do allow to land. We care for any survivors, repair their ships and send them on their way again. Leviathans in particular are considered to deserve our attention. Peacekeepers generally are not."  
  
"And yet you say that the ship is part-Peacekeeper?"  
  
"In design, but a Peacekeeper ship would have more than one crewmember. I hope that when your memory returns you will be able to explain it to us."  
  
"And until then, what will happen to me?"  
  
"You will stay with us and I will do whatever I can to help you," she said simply.  
  
"Thank you," he said, gratefully.  
  
"It's my job," she said, eyes twinkling.  
  
"Of course," he replied, feeling awkward.  
  
They moved on in silence, her walking, him on the floating chair sled. They turned a corner. "Here we are," she said, gesturing upwards. "Your ship."  
  
He stared upwards at the huge black and red ship with its smooth lines and armoury. "That is my ship?" he said in amazement.  
  
"Well I assume so," she said, smiling. "Although I suppose you could have stolen it."  
  
"Can we go inside it?" he asked, as if he hadn't heard her last remark.  
  
Carma signalled two of the technicians working on the ship to open the access doors. "I hope that seeing the inside may bring back some of your memories," she said.  
  
He slowly manoeuvred himself inside with her following close behind. They made their way through corridors until they reached the command. The doors had been wedged open since the controls were no longer working. He looked around in wonder at the inside of the ship.   
  
"Anything?" she asked.  
  
He struggled to find the right words. "I...remember being here. It is...familiar to me, but I do not know why. I cannot tell you anything that has happened here."  
  
"It's a good sign that you recognise the ship. For the rest I'm afraid that you'll just have to be patient."  
  
He didn't answer.  
  
"Would you like to stay here?" she asked.  
  
"No," he said. "I would like to see some of where I am."  
  
"Then I'll show you."  
  
***  
  
"Where are we going?"  
  
"The lookout tower. You'll be able to see all over the city and beyond from up there. It's the best I can do for the moment. When you've fully recovered the use of your legs I'll take you on a tour of the city."  
  
The pod they were in continued moving slowly upwards. Suddenly the blank walls dropped down below them and they were surrounded only by a transparent material that gave the illusion of no walls at all, only the floor below them. He slowly turned himself around, studying the city from all angles. Considering their obvious medical and technical expertise it was much less industrial than he had expected. He could see open spaces and plant life everywhere, dwellings of all shapes and sizes, huge lakes and rivers in every direction. Among them were the larger buildings that usually marked a city, but even their design was strange. Instead of the city being separate from the surrounding countryside, it seemed to be part of it. Buildings seemed to be fashioned from native wood and stone instead of artificial materials. Life here seemed to be as much in harmony with nature as it could be without compromising their level of technology. He'd never seen such a beautiful place.  
  
"It is...beautiful," he said.  
  
"I always wondered if I only thought that because it is my home," Carma said. "I'm glad to know that someone else thinks it is lovely too. It will be your home too for as long as you are recovering. If you look right down there," she said, gesturing to a small cluster of dwellings near a small wood, "you can see my house."  
  
"Are you certain that you wish me to stay with you?"  
  
"It is the accepted thing here," she said. "My duties as a care-giver do not end with medical treatment. I am responsible for your rehabilitation in its entirety. We find that it encourages high class care when a relationship is forged between carer and patient. I agreed to this when I became a carer, and Selon tolerates it admirably."  
  
"Selon...is your husband?" he asked, strangely bothered by it.  
  
"No," she said, "he is my father. I'm...not married. Being a carer usually leaves little time for other pursuits."  
  
He nodded. "It must require a great deal of commitment."  
  
She smiled. "So do most things that are really worth doing. ...Come on, I'll take you home."  
  
*** 


	2. Flashes

Chapter 2: Flashes  
  
"I do not require any more assistance," he said firmly.  
  
"If I may just point out," Carma said, equally firmly, "the last time you said that, you fell down the stairs and set your therapy back two weekens. It's a blessing you were only halfway up."  
  
He glared at her in annoyance. She hid a smile. "Look," she said, "I know you don't like to be fussed over, but a little care and patience is necessary for full recovery. You spent two monens in a coma and suffered complete temporary paralysis. That is not the sort of thing you shake off in a couple of weekens. You need to take things slowly and let people help you."  
  
He sighed. "How much longer do you believe it will be?"  
  
"As long as it takes! And it will take longer if you keep fighting me," Carma said.  
  
She took his arm and pulled it across her shoulders, supporting him as they moved over to the medibed.  
  
"There we go," she said as they reached it. "Now take off your trousers and get comfortable."  
  
It didn't seem to matter how many times she gave that particular order, it never ceased to disturb him. The first time it had taken him several microts to work out that she was only going to massage his legs. It was just physiotherapy. And a good reason not to get better too quickly.  
  
***  
  
He sat at the window of Carma's house, looking out into the garden, thinking.  
  
"Carma tells me that your therapy is coming along well."   
  
The gruff voice, which he now knew belonged to Selon, spoke behind him. He turned from the window.  
  
"I have regained most of my mobility," he said.  
  
"And your memory?"  
  
"I still remember nothing," he said quietly.  
  
Selon patted him on the shoulder.  
  
"If anyone can help you recover your memory, Carma is the one."  
  
"Yes," he said softly, as Selon walked away. "I am certain that she is...the one."  
  
He returned to looking out of the window.  
  
"Sons, the recruiter is here to pick you up."  
  
He spun round at the unfamiliar voice. A man stood there, a tall man with long hair and a beard like his own.  
  
"Bialar!" the man said sharply.  
  
Then the man vanished into the air. He stared at the spot, trying to understand what he had just seen. Had it been one of his memories?  
  
He heard a noise and turned towards the door as Carma came in.  
  
"You look like you've seen a ghost," she said.  
  
He met her gaze. "I may well have done," he said.  
  
She sat down on the sofa and motioned for him to join her. "What did you see?" she asked, concerned.  
  
"I saw...a man, and he spoke. He mentioned...a recruiter and...I believe he called me...Bialar."  
  
"Do you think that could be your name?" Carma asked.  
  
"Perhaps. I...am not certain. It was more a vision than a memory."  
  
"You mentioned a recruiter...could it have been a Peacekeeper one?"  
  
"It is possible."  
  
"The man you saw, was he in Peacekeeper uniform?"  
  
"No, he appeared like a civilian."  
  
"Then, if you were a Peacekeeper, he might have been someone you knew from before you were conscripted...if you were conscripted."  
  
"It is very confusing," he said. "But he mentioned something else. He said...*sons* the recruiter is here to pick you up. That could suggest that he was...."  
  
"Your father," Carma said. "And that you might have a brother."  
  
"Officer Tauvo Crais, reporting for duty sir! Captain's bars suit you my brother."  
  
His head snapped up. That had not been a vision. He had seen it as clearly as if it had been happening now.  
  
"Asan...I mean...Bialar? Are you alright?"  
  
He found a smile on his face. "That is my name," he said. "I am...Bialar Crais...and I do have a brother. I *was* a Peacekeeper...a Captain."  
  
Carma rose and headed to the galley unit, looking at him over the work surface as she poured herself a drink. "Which would suggest that you still are. Except that you wouldn't expect a Peacekeeper Captain to be alone on a prototype leviathan gunship in the middle of the uncharted territories. And when said gunship has been almost destroyed by an unknown force, but left clinging to life and its Captain not taken.... Something is not right."  
  
"I wish...that I could put your mind at rest," Crais said, getting up and moving to join her.  
  
"And that something could very well be that you were sent to destroy us, or spy on us," Carma said, noticeably agitated. "I heard that the Peacekeepers were starting to venture into the uncharted territories, maybe you're part of the scout party. And maybe someone didn't want you to succeed so they tried to destroy your ship and didn't expect anyone to find you in time. Or maybe you faked everything and you're just pretending to need help to gather information."  
  
Crais caught her shoulders and spun her to face him. "I have not been lying to you," he said. "I do not remember what circumstances led to my rescue, but everything I have told you since I awoke is true to the best of my knowledge. You have done more for me than I imagine anyone ever has before."  
  
She gave a laughing-grin at that. He looked sheepish. "I realise that statement would mean more if I had the memories to support it." He still saw apprehension deep in her eyes. "I have no desire to hurt or betray you."  
  
Blue eyes looked back at him. "I...believe you."  
  
Then he was kissing her and she was kissing him...and then she wasn't.  
  
"This is a very, very bad idea," she said.  
  
"Undoubtedly," he said, and kissed her again.  
  
She kissed him back at first, but still pulled away - further this time.  
  
"I'm serious," she said. "You have amnesia. You could have a lover...you could have a *wife* for all we know. Plus you've suffered some serious mental trauma and you probably don't know what you're doing..."  
  
"I know exactly what I'm doing," Crais interjected.  
  
"...And I'm a carer As..Bialar. Falling in love with patients is against every regulation that exists. If anyone found out I'd lose my license, my position...my reputation. I'd be back to working as a med Tech again and...why are you looking at me like that?"  
  
Crais continued looking at her. "Falling...in love...with patients?"  
  
Carma looked very embarrassed. "Well I didn't quite mean...you know what I meant. Just carer and patient...or maybe friends...but no kissing...or anything. It's forbidden and it's unethical, you've suffered a good deal of trauma and I would be taking advantage of you."  
  
Even without most of his memory, Crais had a strong suspicion that that was the first time any woman had ever said that to him.  
  
"You are right," he said.  
  
He half-thought that he glimpsed a flash of disappointment in her eyes.  
  
"I'm definitely right," she said. He wasn't sure if she was trying to convince him or herself.  
  
"I will endeavour to recover quickly," he said, no trace of humour in his words or face. Carma was left wondering whether he had meant that the way it had sounded to her. She had to put this out of her mind.  
  
***  
  
Crais moved through the gunship, hoping to spark another flash of memory. It had been over a weeken since he'd seen his father and brother standing before him and nothing more had surfaced. He still felt the sense of familiarity he'd had the first time Carma had taken him into the command, but he was sure that there must be many other memories, hidden just beyond his reach, that centred around this ship.  
  
He had been walking along corridors for what felt like an arn when he found himself standing outside a door in the section reserved for living quarters. He didn't know how badly damaged this part of the ship had been. It was hard to say what made him more apprehensive, what he wouldn't find...or what he would.  
  
The door controls were fused, like those all over the ship. He had to force the door himself, struggling to open it wide enough for him to enter. Once he was inside, he surveyed his surroundings.   
  
These must surely be his quarters. At first glance they seemed almost empty, but he soon found that there were enough possessions neatly stowed to suggest that the inhabitant had been settled there. He found some clothing. He didn't know what had become of the Captain's uniform they had found him in, but the other clothing was devoid of all insignias. He saw no other indication of Peacekeeper allegiance in the room. Other than the destruction caused by whatever had happened to them, the room was neat and tidy. The longer he stayed, the stronger the sense of familiarity grew, but the memories were still too far away from him to reach.   
  
After a while he left the quarters and returned to the command, but the feelings refused to develop into memories. He stayed until the Techs told him he had to leave and travelled home with a heavy heart. Carma had told him it would take time, but it was hard to be patient when your identity was at stake.  
  
***  
  
When Carma walked in the door later that day she didn't see him and couldn't find him. Worried, she went out to look for him.  
  
"You were correct," Crais said from behind her.  
  
"About what," she said, turning round to face him.  
  
"That we should not get involved. That I might remember things that would come between us."  
  
"Don't tell me. Somewhere out there you've got a wife and a tribe of kids."  
  
His grim expression told her that that wasn't it.  
  
"What then?" Carma asked.  
  
He paused. "The memories have begun to come back today. I think I would have preferred to remain in ignorance. I have seen myself...ordering people to their deaths, being tortured...murdering my second in command. I have a sense that this was all several cycles ago and yet I cannot recall anything between then and the present time. My memory up to then is incomplete, but I believe your assessment may be correct. I...cannot be trusted."  
  
"Because you have a history you'd rather forget?"  
  
"Because I could well be what you suspected."  
  
"What you were is unchangeable. What you *are* is your decision."  
  
"And what if I serve only my own interests?"  
  
Carma approached. "Then you should do good. Good creates and evil destroys."  
  
Crais grunted. "Who taught you that?"  
  
"My mother. And yes, I believe in her judgement. Why do you think I became a carer?"  
  
"Where is she?" Crais asked, bluntly.  
  
Carma regarded him. "Dead," she said. "She was a Tech, working at the rescue centre doing ship repairs with my Dad. There was an accident at work or something, it was quite a while ago now."  
  
Crais nodded. "Mine is also...dead. That is why she did not appear in my earlier memories. It seems that she died shortly before my brother and myself were conscripted."  
  
"What about your brother?" Carma asked suddenly. "You said that he was conscripted with you. Do you remember what happened to him?"  
  
Crais shook his head. "I remember times during our training and early duty, and the day he reported for duty under me. I remember nothing after that. The last few cycles seem to still be...hidden to me."  
  
"They'll come," Carma said softly, "in time."  
  
Crais let his head move closer to hers. Their lips were almost touching when she pulled away.  
  
"I said that the past doesn't matter Bialar," she said, "but the future does. I can't throw mine away on some...infatuation."  
  
"Before, you called it love."  
  
"Before I wasn't thinking. It's best for both of us that we just forget it."  
  
Crais nodded again. "I will make every effort to keep my memory selective."  
  
Her glare only made him want to smile.  
  
***  
  
Raylai Selon rounded the last corner and pulled his security clearance chip from his pocket. Pushing it into the slot with practised ease, he simultaneously placed his hand into the DNA scanner. It chimed his authorisation a microt later, the door slid open. He retrieved his chip and stepped inside.  
  
"Ah Selon, how is our patient?"  
  
"Are you referring to the gunship or my amnesiac houseguest?" Selon said, standing to attention in front of his boss' desk.  
  
"A report on either would be welcome," Commandent Veldone replied, not batting an eyelid.  
  
"The Captain has regained some of his memory, but nothing from the last few cycles. The gunship is repairable. It still requires a new starburst fin - a substitute is being created until it is able to regrow it - and its higher functions are still off-line. The rest of the systems are being restored as we speak."  
  
The Commandant nodded, rising from her desk to join him.  
  
"And the...other project?"  
  
"Running right on schedule sir," Selon reported, "it will be ready long before we complete the repairs."  
  
"Excellent," she replied. "I love it when you bring me good news."  
  
"Sir...what about the other patient?" Selon asked.  
  
"The blocker we gave him should block out the last few cycles completely. If he starts to remember anything, bring him to me."  
  
"And Carma?"  
  
"I doubt that we will be able to convince her to join us. She's far too much like her mother in that way. It may be necessary to...remove her from harm's way. Can I safely place that responsibility in your hands?"  
  
Selon smiled. "Certainly," he said. 


	3. Ties

Chapter 3: Ties  
  
Chiana hurried towards Moya's command. "Pilot, is Crichton in command?" she asked.  
  
"Yes Chiana."  
  
"Tell him to stay there, okay."  
  
"May I ask why?"  
  
"I need to talk to him. It's important."  
  
"Very well Chiana."  
  
Chiana rounded the last few corners, hit the door controls and slipped through the gap that appeared.  
  
"Crichton," she said.  
  
"Hey Chi, Pilot said you wanted to talk to me?"  
  
Crichton was sitting on the floor, trying to fix a conduit on the wall. Chiana sat down beside him and tried to decide where to begin.  
  
"You know...that I've been having those...premonitions."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"And you know that they're...well, they're getting stronger."  
  
"Are they hurting you or something, Chi?" Crichton asked, looking concerned.  
  
"No...they're not hurting me. It's just that...I haven't told anyone this, but...I've started having dreams as well."  
  
"Dreams? Like...prophetic dreams?"  
  
"I think so."  
  
"Why didn't you tell us before?" Crichton asked.  
  
"At first they were just...it was just little things, you know. I dreamt that you lost your pulse pistol and then you did. And then I dreamt that you found it again and that happened too. It didn't seem to matter, but last night...it was something else."  
  
"What?"  
  
Chiana shifted her position.  
  
"I had a...I had a dream about Crais," she said.  
  
Crichton stared back at her.  
  
"Er, Chi, do I want to know the content of this dream?"  
  
"I don't mean a dream like that," Chiana said, "I mean...a dream where he was alive."  
  
"And you think that it might be a prophecy?" Crichton asked.  
  
"You know that planet we passed three days ago, the one that wouldn't let us come down to trade for supplies?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Well...I didn't say anything then, but I got this...feeling that there was something we should go down for. And after the dream...I think he might be there."  
  
"Chi, Crais has to be dead, Talyn too. There is no way that they could have survived."  
  
"But we didn't find all of Talyn's remains, did we? And Talyn's not a normal leviathan, he's part-Peacekeeper, maybe...."  
  
"You want us to go back to the planet?"  
  
"Look, maybe you're right, maybe it's nothing, but I don't know if you've noticed but the things I see come true. I think we ought to find out."  
  
"Okay Chi, we'll ask the others and if they agree we'll go back to look for Crais."  
  
"Thanks Crichton," Chiana said gratefully.  
  
"I didn't know you cared that much about Crais."  
  
"I don't. I just...care that you trust me."  
  
Crichton put an arm around her. "I've decided that I'd be smart to."  
  
***  
  
"We understand that you don't usually allow visitors or trading parties, but these are special circumstances."  
  
"How so?" Commandant Veldone asked, her less-than-formidable patience already wearing thin. Her rules were simple, no visitors. This stubborn alien had been pestering the communications office for arns and had finally demanded to speak with her. Her fingers were hovering over her control pad, itching to send the 'target and destroy' signal to airborne defence.  
  
"We have reason to believe that you might have one of our...friends...on your planet," Crichton said.  
  
His hesitation was not lost on the Commandant.  
  
"Mr Crichton," she said, somewhat irritably. "When I say that we do not allow visitors, I meant without exception. The only people on this planet are those that were born here."  
  
"Look, one of your people said that you do rescue missions. He and his ship were probably badly injured."  
  
She made a mental note to have that person removed.  
  
"Very well," she said, using every scrap of control she possessed. "I am prepared to consult our records if it will bring a satisfactory end to this matter. What is the name you wish me to search for?"  
  
"The guy's called Bialar Crais and the ship's name is Talyn, he's a hybrid leviathan."  
  
The Commandant paused imperceptibly at that.  
  
"I will consult my chief of records and contact you shortly," she said, calmly.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
The moment the connection was broken she activated her communication channel.  
  
"Raylai Selon, report to my office immediately."  
  
"Yes sir," came the instant reply.  
  
She sat, considering the options as she waited for him to arrive.  
  
"Sir," Selon said, marching swiftly into the office.  
  
"Ah, Selon," Commandant Veldone said, smiling. "I asked you here because an interesting development has occurred. I have received a communication from a leviathan travelling through this sector. They claim that one of their crew and his ship are currently resident on this planet. The person's name...is Bialar Crais, and it seems that the name of the ship is Talyn."  
  
Selon returned her smile.  
  
"That is indeed an...interesting development sir," he said.  
  
"I thought you might agree," she said, "and I would like your input on this matter. What do you believe would be the best course of action to take?"  
  
"Well..." he said, "...if we allow him to meet with people he is familiar with, it could speed the recovery of his memory."  
  
"How powerful is the memory blocker he was given?"  
  
"It should block out the last few cycles completely until it is removed, but exposure of this kind could...lessen its effect."  
  
"So your recommendation is that we do not allow this meeting?"  
  
"Well...perhaps, but if we could convince them to take him away without the ship. That would remove him from our way."  
  
"A very interesting thought."  
  
"Thank you sir."  
  
"Dismissed."  
  
Selon saluted and left.  
  
Commandant Veldone reactivated her long-range communications. Crichton's face appeared on the viewscreen.  
  
"Commander Crichton," she said. "I have consulted my chief of records. It seems that we might be able to help you after all...."  
  
***  
  
Crichton and Aeryn approached the house and knocked. The door was opened by a pretty, Sebacean woman.  
  
"Hi," Crichton said, "I'm...John Crichton."  
  
She smiled. "I am Raylai Carma. I was told to expect you, come in."  
  
They followed her into the room and settled on the sofa as she made drinks. Crichton looked around.  
  
"This is where Crais has been staying?" he asked in disbelief.  
  
"It is usual here for a patient to reside with their carer," Carma replied.  
  
"Carer?" Crichton asked. "Man, how bad was Crais banged up?"  
  
Carma smiled.  
  
"All cases requiring extended treatment are assigned to carers. We provide medical care, physiotherapy, counselling and whatever other support the patient requires. In Bialar's case...he was in a coma for two monens, he suffered temporary paralysis ,from which he has now almost fully recovered, and total amnesia...from which he has not."  
  
"Crais has lost his memory?" Crichton asked, stunned.  
  
"When he first woke up he remembered nothing," Carma said. "Since then he has made a good deal of progress. His memories from much of his life have almost fully returned, it is only the last few cycles that still seem to be blocked."  
  
"What is the most recent thing that he remembers?" Aeryn asked.  
  
"The most recent that he has told me about was of his brother arriving to serve under him."  
  
Crichton turned to look at Aeryn.  
  
"Which means that he won't remember me...and he might not remember you either," he said.   
  
"You haven't known him long then?" Carma asked.  
  
"A bit over three cycles," Crichton replied.  
  
"The first cycle of which he spent trying to kill you," Aeryn pointed out.  
  
"Kill you?" Carma said, alarmed. "Why?"  
  
"It's kind of a long story," Crichton said. "Short version, his brother and I were involved in an accident, his brother died and Crais blamed me for it. Where is Crais anyway?"  
  
"He's not here at the moment," Carma replied. "I wanted to speak to you first, to explain his situation to you. If all you say is true, I'm hoping that you can help him regain his memories of the last few cycles, but it will take time."  
  
"When do you expect him?" Aeryn asked.  
  
"He shouldn't be long," Carma said.  
  
As if on cue, Crais chose that moment to walk in the door. He stopped when he saw Crichton and Aeryn on the sofa. "I didn't realise that you would have guests," he said to Carma.  
  
She smiled. "They're not here to see me Bialar, they're here to see you. Do you recognise them?"  
  
Crais regarded them. "I have seen you before," he said, nodding to Aeryn. "But I do not recall ever meeting you," he finished, turning his attention to Crichton.  
  
"My name is John Crichton," Crichton said, feeling strange about introducing himself to Crais again, "we've known each other about three cycles. You've known Aeryn longer, you served with her in the Peacekeepers."  
  
Crais studied her more closely. "Officer...Aeryn Sun."  
  
"That is correct," Aeryn said. "But I am no longer a Peacekeeper and neither are you."  
  
"How is that possible?" Crais asked abruptly. "Deserters are executed."  
  
"We were both deemed irreversibly contaminated," Aeryn replied. "I escaped on Moya, you on Talyn."  
  
"Talyn?" Crais asked. "Is that the name of my ship?"  
  
"Yeah," Crichton said. "He's Moya's son. ...You really don't remember any of this?"  
  
"I have not recovered any memories of the last few cycles," Crais said.   
  
Crichton leaned forward. "Do you remember...how you came to be here?"  
  
"No," Crais said, matter-of-factly. "Perhaps you can enlighten me?"  
  
Crichton and Aeryn exchanged glances.   
  
"It's...er...it's kind of a long story Crais," Crichton said. "There's a lot to explain...and you're not going to like a lot of it."  
  
"I have already recalled much which I do not like," Crais said calmly. "I wish to know my history. Tell me whatever you know."  
  
Crichton cleared his throat. 'Well, here goes nothing,' he thought, and began to speak. He started with the day he came to the uncharted territories and told Crais everything he knew. Crais listened silently until he had finished. He gave no sign of any emotion whatsoever. When Crichton had finished his story the group lapsed into an awkward silence.  
  
Carma was the first to recover her wits. "Perhaps," she said. "It would be better if you left now and returned tomorrow. You have provided a good deal of information, it will take time to process it."  
  
Crichton and Aeryn were both glad of the excuse to leave. Crichton especially felt extremely worried about what Crais' reaction might be. The carer, Carma, seemed to have won Crais' trust, maybe she could prevent the explosion.  
  
Carma closed the door quietly behind them and turned to Crais. He stood by the stairs, looking back at her, silent.  
  
"Do you believe them?" he asked simply.  
  
Carma paused. "It doesn't matter if I believe them. What matters is whether you do."  
  
"I have faith in your judgement."  
  
She studied his face carefully. "I believe them," she answered. "Crichton's story is too...incredible to be fabricated. Do you believe them?"  
  
Crais let his head drop. "I am not sure what to believe," he said. "I do not know whether I should trust them."  
  
Carma approached him slowly. "Crichton...described to you his involvement in the death of your brother and your...pursuit of him. Do you believe that you would take that course of action in that situation?"  
  
Crais studied her. "Yes," he said. "I believe that I might well have done as he said."  
  
Carma hesitated. "Bialar...the rescue centre have...suggested that I discharge you into their care."  
  
Crais didn't reply.  
  
"Your ship...Talyn...is not fully repaired. They advise that you leave it with us and return to claim it at a later date."  
  
Crais moved slowly towards her, until he was standing in front of her. "And what is your opinion?" he asked.  
  
Carma looked up at him. "As your carer it is my duty to treat you until you are fully recovered. I would not advise terminating care at this point. We have had other patients identified by crew members, but we have never allowed any to leave before their treatment was complete. And I do not think that it is wise to leave your ship here."  
  
"You are...suspicious," Crais said, his eyes locked with hers.  
  
"Perhaps," Carma said. "Of what I can't tell you. But I will not discharge you until you have regained enough of your memory to be certain that what we have been told is the truth."  
  
"You are also...concerned," Crais added, his eyes gleaming.  
  
"It's my job to be concerned," she replied, not looking away.  
  
They stood for a moment, their eyes locked.  
  
"Come with me," Crais said suddenly.  
  
"Where?" Carma asked in surprise.  
  
"Wherever I go when I leave here," Crais replied.  
  
Now she broke the gaze. "I can't, Bialar."  
  
"Your career as a carer is very important to you, isn't it?" Crais asked quietly.  
  
"I don't need to be here to heal people," Carma said, equally quietly. "I...could leave this planet. But my father is here and I can't leave him. I'm all he has, he needs me."  
  
"Then perhaps it would be better if I leave now," Crais said.  
  
"Maybe it would," she responded softly. "You can take your ship and explore the whole of the uncharted territories. And maybe, one day, you'll find a place to call home."  
  
"Home is where the heart is," Crais said suddenly.  
  
Carma looked at him in surprise. "Where did that saying come from?" she asked.  
  
"I am not certain," Crais said, "but I think...it might be a human saying."  
  
"Human? You trust Crichton and Aeryn then?"  
  
"The only one I trust at this moment is you," Crais said matter-of-factly. "If you believe that the rescue centre are acting suspiciously then I will investigate before I agree to anything. And I will not leave without my ship."  
  
"I'll help you."  
  
"It will undoubtedly be dangerous," Crais said.  
  
"If I can deal with you, I can deal with anybody," Carma said with a grin.  
  
Crais regarded her silently. 'I hope that you are right," he thought. 


	4. Questions

Chapter 4: Questions  
  
"Why exactly are we here?" Crais asked impatiently. "You *said* that we should investigate the work that is being done on Talyn."  
  
"Right," Carma replied, activating some of the medlab's equipment. "But we have more chance of going undetected by pretending to be here for medical reasons. Besides, you have delayed your usual screening twice already and this time I am not going to take no for an answer. You can either co-operate or I will have to restrain you."  
  
Crais raised an eyebrow. Carma glared back at him.  
  
"Using sedatives," she said, "if necessary."  
  
"Which would make it extremely difficult for me to discover anything that is going on," Crais replied, but he climbed onto the medibed.  
  
"True," Carma replied. "So it will be better for both of us if you let me get on with it."  
  
"I am perfectly healthy," Crais stated as she began her scans.  
  
"I'm sure you're right," Carma said calmly. "This is a routine scan, I'm not expecting to find anything strange...hey, that's strange."  
  
"What is it?" Crais asked.  
  
"Get up," she said.  
  
"*What* is it?" Crais asked again, irritably.  
  
"I'm not sure. Get up. I need to run some more scans."  
  
Crais obeyed, but didn't try to hide his dislike of being ordered around. Carma directed him to sit on a chair with a scanner attached at head level. Before he could open his mouth to ask what she was doing, she had locked him into it and the device had begun moving around him. A slight feeling of claustrophobia rose up in him and he instinctively tried to loosen his collar. This being impossible, due to his whole head and neck being imprisoned in the device, he was forced to sit uncomfortably, waiting for her to release him. After what felt like an arn, she did.  
  
"What did you do that for?" he growled, his initial relief at being free of the device rapidly turning to anger.  
  
"This is not good," Carma said, as if she hadn't heard him, raking her fingers through her hair.  
  
"*What* is not good?" Crais demanded, the last of his patience deserting him.  
  
She spun round the monitor she had been looking at so that he could see the image on it.  
  
"Do you see this?" she asked, indicating a small shadow on the scan.  
  
Crais studied the area closely. "What is it?" he asked.  
  
Carma shook her head. "I don't know, Bialar, but it's something and that something shouldn't be there. I can't believe I didn't notice it before. I usually check everything so carefully, I never thought that I could have been this negligent."  
  
Crais put one hand gently on her shoulder. "I am certain that there is a reason other than negligence that caused you to miss it," he said. "Do you know what it is?"  
  
She looked back at him, worry in her eyes. "From a scan result like this, I'd guess...a tumour. An after-effect of your accident that we didn't notice, perhaps, or maybe a genetic defect, I don't know."  
  
Crais nodded briskly. "Can your scanners determine its composition?" he asked bluntly.  
  
A thoughtful expression mingled with the worry on Carma's face. "I have a material analyser that I use to scan artificial limbs and metal fragments in wounds. Perhaps if I can link it to my neural scanner...."  
  
"Do it," Crais ordered, unconsciously slipping into his Captain shoes.  
  
Carma pulled a mock salute. "Yes sir!" she replied, with a jaunty smile that hid the worry she was feeling for a microt. Crais' expression didn't flicker. Carma sighed and set to work on the alterations.  
  
'I'll try to keep it short this time," she said as she fixed the scanner around his head for the second time. Crais grunted, "how did you realise?" he asked. She smiled back, "your clenched fists," she said. "Your knuckles were almost white."  
  
Crais sat, taking as deep breaths as he was able to, focusing on remaining still to achieve a good scan. If anything it seemed to take longer this time. When he was finally released the first thing he saw was Carma's grim expression.  
  
"It's not a tumour," she said. "It's made of metal."  
  
Crais sat at attention, his discomfort forgotten. "You mean that it is not a natural occurrence," he said. "Someone placed it there."  
  
Carma nodded, the lines of tension deep around her mouth. "It seems more than a coincidence that you have a memory block and a chip in your head at the same time," she said, her mood threatening to break into outright anger at any moment.  
  
"Indeed," Crais replied, surprisingly calm. "Can you remove it?"  
  
Carma shook her head. "I could attempt the procedure, but not alone. I would need another person with medical knowledge to assist me...and we can't risk alerting anyone else to what we've discovered."  
  
Crais nodded, deep in thought.  
  
"Why the frell are they doing this?!" Carma exploded suddenly.  
  
Crais looked at her, surprised. Like himself she seldom swore. "If what Crichton and Aeryn told us is true, then I have spent the last two cycles on board Talyn, neurologically linked to him. I suspect that whoever did this intended to block my memories of my ship so that I would be more likely to leave him behind without a fight."  
  
"But why?!" Carma exclaimed. "It doesn't make any sense. What could we need Talyn for? A leviathan with weaponry - what use is that to us? There are almost no other planets near us to engage us in war, we have automated defences to protect us if necessary, we don't even have a military. The only thing we use ships for is rescue missions and we don't require weapons for that. It makes no sense."  
  
"I agree," Crais said. "From what you have said it makes no sense at all. Which leads me to conclude that there is more going on here than we know about."  
  
"Then we need to find out what," Carma said.  
  
"Perhaps it would be best if I...." Crais began.  
  
"Don't even think about it," Carma interrupted. "I'm in this. I've spent almost my entire life serving our government. If there's something going on, I want to know what it is."  
  
"I was only suggesting...that you are not a trained soldier as I am."  
  
"You'd be surprised what I know," Carma said grimly, "carers pick up things from patients, you know. Not to mention the times I've had to fend off unwelcome advances. Self-defence is an unofficial requirement to be a carer."  
  
"I do not recall you doing me any damage," Crais replied.  
  
"I said unwelcome advances," she said, then saw the look on his face. "But don't read into that too much."  
  
"I will make every effort not to," Crais said seriously. Carma hated it when he did that, she could never tell whether he was joking or not.  
  
"What are you waiting for?" she said. "I think we need to pay a little visit to the guys down in research and development...."  
  
***  
  
"Okay, now it's my turn to ask...why are we here?" Carma asked, surveying the maintenance bay where Talyn was located.  
  
"On every other occasion that we have attended the centre we have visited Talyn. I thought it might arouse suspicion if we neglected to do so this time," Crais replied.  
  
"That's a good reason," Carma agreed. "But what exactly are we going to do while we're here?"  
  
"I wish to look for any evidence that might confirm the story told to us by Crichton and Officer Sun," Crais replied. "Your father said that 98% of the data was destroyed, which means that there might be something left that will be useful to us."  
  
"Do you remember how the systems work?" Carma asked doubtfully.  
  
"Sufficiently well," Crais replied and offered no more information. They climbed aboard Talyn, heading for command. As soon as they were there Crais began to search the remains of the database, taking care to keep the minimum of systems activated so as not to arouse suspicion.  
  
"Is there anything?" Carma asked impatiently, somewhat on edge.  
  
"It seems that what we were told is correct, almost all of the data is gone," Crais replied. "There are a few minutes of surveillance logs, several star charts with no indication as to which sectors they refer to and a weapons inventory. That is all."  
  
"The surveillance logs might show us something," Carma suggested doubtfully.  
  
Crais nodded in agreement and accessed them. The scene that flashed onto the screen showed him and a woman that they both recognised as Aeryn in command, talking.  
  
"I can't hear it," Carma said.  
  
"The logs have lost their audio recordings," Crais replied. "I'm afraid that we have visual only."  
  
The scene continued. It meant little to the watchers since neither could lip read but, once they saw Crichton striding through the doors of the command, it at least leant weight to his and Aeryn's claims.   
  
"It looks like what they told us might have been true," Carma said softly.  
  
"Where is the research and development lab?" Crais asked, not responding to her comment.  
  
"It's not that far from here, we'll need a security pass to get in though."  
  
"Can you get one for us?"   
  
Carma shook her head. "I don't know anyone in maintenance-tech we can trust not to report us."  
  
"Then we will have to try a different approach," Crais said grimly.  
  
"You do realise that, assuming there is something going on, once they know we're spying on them, they'll probably start trying to hunt us down."  
  
"I think I know a way to avoid that."  
  
"How?"  
  
"I believe I could de-activate the security cameras so that we would not be spotted."  
  
"I sure hope you're right," Carma replied.  
  
As unobtrusively as they could they left the maintenance bay and headed down the corridor. Carma led Crais up a bland-looking staircase.   
  
"There's a room up here where there's a window looking down into the project lab," she said softly. "My father once took me up here, I'm not supposed to know about it."  
  
"Are there likely to be guards?" Crais asked.  
  
"I hope not."  
  
"You *hope* not?"  
  
"Hey, I don't know about you but I'm new at this undercover surveillance game," Carma hissed. "I'm a carer, not a spy. If there are guards up there we'll just have to think of something. I'll offer them my body in return for their silence."  
  
"Over my mutilated corpse," Crais said, forgetting to whisper. Carma made frantic shushing motions.  
  
"I was joking!" She hissed back. "Now keep quiet, I think this is it."  
  
She pushed open the door of the room they had reached. It was deserted. Crais found himself breathing a small sigh of relief.  
  
"Up here," Carma whispered, indicating a small window high on the wall.  
  
"That is our only vantage point?" Crais said doubtfully.  
  
Carma rolled her eyes. "Project work is supposed to be secret. I'm sorry I couldn't get you front row seats. Give me a hand."  
  
Crais knelt down reluctantly, Carma stood on his shoulders with remarkable ease. He carefully stood up and Carma peered through the window.  
  
"What can you see?" he asked through clenched teeth.  
  
"They're building something," Carma replied.  
  
"Wonderful," Crais said sarcastically, "could you be any more specific?"  
  
"I know next to nothing about tech work, I can't tell what it is."  
  
"Then why are you up there and I down here?" Crais asked in exasperation.  
  
"Because I can't possibly support your weight on my shoulders," Carma retorted.  
  
"Then we will have to find another way," Crais said, setting her down with rather less care than he might have employed.  
  
"I guess we could use some of this junk to stand on," Carma said, looking over the room. "Give me a hand pulling it over here."  
  
They struggled to lift the heavy objects and fashion them into a block for Crais to stand on. When it was high enough he climbed up and peered through, feeling ridiculous. That feeling disappeared when he realised what he was seeing. He looked long enough to be sure, then dropped down before anyone saw him.  
  
"Well?" Carma asked. "Do you know what it is?"  
  
Crais nodded. "Yes, I do."  
  
"So what are they building?" she asked, impatient with his silence.  
  
Crais looked grimly back at her. "It's a control collar." 


	5. Truths

Chapter 5: Truths  
  
"So what do we do about it?" Carma asked, raking her fingers through her hair.  
  
"If we are to remove Talyn before the collar can be set in place then we will require assistance."   
  
"You want to recruit Crichton and Aeryn?"  
  
"I believe that is our only option. We will somehow have to access the centre's long distance communications," Crais replied.  
  
"No need," Carma said, pulling a small device from her cleavage.  
  
Crais raised an eyebrow. "I wasn't aware that you made it a habit to carry surveillance equipment in your underwear."  
  
Carma ignored his comment. "This is a long range communicator. We can contact Moya from here."  
  
"That risks someone detecting the transmission and locating our position," Crais replied.  
  
Carma shook her head. "It has a trace-blocker built into it. No-one will be able to locate us and if they detect it the signal will cut out automatically...so we'll know."  
  
"Hardly civilian technology."  
  
Carma again ignored him and punched a few buttons on the device, studying the readouts intently.  
  
"Got you," she said quietly, inputting a sequence of commands.  
  
"What are you doing?" Crais asked.  
  
"I'm sending out a beacon to Moya's location," Carma replied. "Once they adjust their comms frequency to ours, we'll be able to talk to them."  
  
A few microts later, Crichton's voice came over the device.  
  
"Uh...hello?"  
  
"Crichton, this is Carma," Carma said before Crais could open his mouth. "We've got a situation. It's Talyn"  
  
"What's the problem?"   
  
"It's a long story," Carma said.  
  
"In summary, we require your help," Crais said.  
  
"Okay," Crichton replied.  
  
Crais and Carma exchanged glances. "That was easy," Carma said.  
  
"Yeah well," Crichton said, scratching the back of his neck. "Even if you don't remember it, I kinda owe you one...or several. Plus it's Talyn, he's Moya's baby."  
  
"Thank you Crichton," Crais replied, still feeling at a disadvantage due to his memory loss. "We appreciate your help."  
  
"What do you want us to do?" Crichton asked.  
  
"Talyn is being held in the projects lab, section three, level four," Carma said. "We need to get him out of there and off this planet. Crais and I will see what useful information we can pick up and contact you again in half an arn. Don't do anything until you hear from us."  
  
"You're not even going to tell us roughly what this is about?" Crichton asked.  
  
"Crichton," Crais said, "they are building a control collar for Talyn."  
  
"Anything you want us to bring?" Crichton asked immediately. "Guns, ropes...torture implements?"  
  
"Pulse weapons should be sufficient," Crais replied.  
  
"We need to find out what we can before someone registers that we haven't left," Carma said. "One half-arn, be ready."  
  
"Understood. Over and out," Crichton replied.  
  
Carma gave the communicator a strange look for a microt, then shrugged her shoulders slightly and returned to the matter in hand.  
  
"We can't do any more surveillance from up here," she said. "If someone looks up they'll see us and it's too hard to escape if they catch up. About two levels down there's an air filter shaft. We can turn off the flow and get in there, we'll be able to see the whole bay and we shouldn't be detected."  
  
"How large is the shaft?" Crais asked.  
  
Carma looked him up and down. "You're right, you're probably too big to fit. I can do it though."  
  
Crais shot her an annoyed look. "What makes you so confident?"  
  
"Experience," Carma replied shortly.  
  
"I thought you said that you didn't know anything about surveillance."  
  
"I lied," Carma replied. "We have to get moving."  
  
Biting his tongue to keep from questioning her further, Crais followed her out of the room.  
  
"The best way down is one of the access shafts up here," Carma said softly, "but we'll have to take the stairs. This section is usually deserted anyway."  
  
"Except in this case," Crais replied, indicating down the corridor.  
  
Two guards were approaching them.  
  
"We can't let them activate the alarm," Carma hissed to Crais. "It's in the panel by that door. If they do, within a few seconds the entire section will know we're here and we're dead meat."  
  
Crais nodded. "Understood."  
  
They slowly walked towards the guards.  
  
"What are you doing up here?" one guard asked.  
  
Crais and Carma exchanged looks. "You go and I will cover you," Crais murmured.  
  
"Not a chance," Carma murmured back. "I'm supposed to be *your* carer, remember and I can take care of myself. You take right, I'll take left."  
  
"This is more than self-defence Carma," Crais snapped.  
  
"You're right," she replied, "it's life and death. I prefer life. Now take right."  
  
Crais looked at her, frustrated. "Fine, take left."  
  
One of the guards raised a weapon. "I'm afraid you'll have to come along with me."  
  
Carma turned to Crais and nodded. She kicked suddenly, sending the weapon flying across to the wall and moving straight into attack. Crais had only a few moments while fighting the other to watch her.  
  
She threw the guard over her shoulder so he landed hard on the ground. He immediately flipped himself to his feet, but nearly lost his balance when Carma hit him soundly on the left side of his jaw. She hit his stomach before he could recover and he fell to his knees. She went to retrieve the weapon. He rose behind her and threw her against the wall. Carma hit it with a grunt, but ducked before he could target her body again. She pulled his legs from under him. He instantly tried to pin her down before she could get up. She struggled, hands forcing his head back as he tried to keep her trapped. Suddenly Crais heard a crack he recognised all too well. He dealt the guard he was fighting a swift panthak jab and left his now-unconscious opponent lying on the floor.  
  
Carma had rolled the guard off her and was sitting by him.  
  
"We have to go," Crais said quietly.  
  
"Yeah," Carma said, "we do." She ripped off the identity tags the guard had been wearing. Crais followed suit.  
  
"We'll have to lock this guy up," Carma said. "Don't want him activating the alarm when he comes to."  
  
"Don't tell me you've got chains on your person also."  
  
"Not quite," Carma said, pulling out a pair of handcuffs.  
  
"You are full of surprises."  
  
Her eyes clouded over for a microt. "Yeah, that I am."  
  
They pulled the two men into a room, handcuffed the unconscious one to a cabinet and left the other lying on the floor.  
  
"I wonder if he had a family," Carma said suddenly, looking at the man she had killed.   
  
"I suggest that you do not dwell on it for now," Crais replied.  
  
"Let's go," Carma said.  
  
***  
  
"I believe that I can fit into there."  
  
"Fine, do what you want. But if you get stuck I'm leaving you there."  
  
Crais climbed into the access shaft and moved up to the grill where Carma had been watching the room. After a few moments, he spotted something and his eyes widened.  
  
"Carma," he said, when he had crawled out of the shaft. "That is...."  
  
"My father, I know."  
  
"You knew that your father was involved in this?" Crais asked in disbelief.  
  
"Of course I knew," Carma snapped back. "I'm not an idiot. I'm a carer, it's my job to know what people aren't telling me."  
  
"You said that you could never leave him," Crais said quietly. "That you were all he had. I thought...."  
  
"I used to care about him," Carma said, "but sometimes people do things and you just can't repair the damage to your relationship."  
  
Crais nodded. Carma watched him.  
  
"I wasn't lying," she said. "I can't leave him. Just not for the reasons you think."  
  
"Then what are your reasons?" Crais asked, meeting her eyes.  
  
"Living in the house of a traitor puts me in a useful position."  
  
"You're an informer," Crais stated.  
  
Carma nodded. "Commandant Veldone is head of the rescue centre project, but the other government heads know she's got some other agenda. They just don't know what it is. It's my job to find out."  
  
"So you can't leave because...."  
  
"Because as long as he's involved in this project, I'm employed by the state to watch him and if I try to leave I'll be killed."  
  
"What would you need to do for you to be released from your contract?"  
  
"Find out what the project is really about and blow it open. Once the secret is out, the government will move in and my job is over."  
  
Crais stroked his goatee. "What would they want with Talyn?"  
  
Carma shook her head. "I don't have the slightest idea."  
  
"Do you have a plan to find out?"  
  
"Right now I'm just trying to rescue Talyn. If I can find out some more along the way that would be great, but that's not my number one priority right now."  
  
"It's your job to find out."  
  
"No. It's my *job* to take care of you. I'm *required* to watch Selon. They have other informers who are trying to uncover the whole thing."  
  
"Do you know who they are?" Crais asked.  
  
"No, every agent works blind. That way, if one is caught, the whole structure can't go down."  
  
"Do you believe that your father is aware of your allegiances?"  
  
"If he were, I'd be dead by now. He thinks I'm completely innocent of what's going on."  
  
"And what do you intend to do now?"  
  
"The government won't come in until they know exactly what's going on. We're on our own until then. To get Talyn out we'll have to get you on board. We should be able to activate his manual controls at least. I think he's just about repaired enough to fly, but he still can't starburst. Getting out of here will be tough."  
  
"First we will find out what your government wants to know," Crais said. "And then you will be able to come with us. 


	6. Revelations

Chapter 6: Revelations  
  
"The first thing we have to do is to get Crichton and Aeryn onto the planet. We're going to need some extra muscle to get Talyn out of there. It looks like they're almost done building the collar, we can't risk a delay."  
  
"Agreed," Crais replied, taking the communicator from her.  
  
"We're ready," came Crichton's immediate response to Crais' signal.  
  
"We need you here immediately," Crais said. "We will return and meet you at Carma's house."  
  
"Understood."  
  
"I hope that's going to be enough force to get Talyn out," Carma said.  
  
"It will have to be," Crais replied grimly.  
  
"I suggest we take a different route out. I know a short-cut through the secondary labs where we shouldn't be seen."  
  
Carma and Crais set off down the corridor.  
  
"I suggest we try the night shift. There's less people, we've more chance of getting out alive," Carma said.  
  
"Unless the continued presence of Crichton and Aeryn attracts suspicion."  
  
"True, we might have to try earlier. But with only the four of us I'd like to get as good odds as I can."  
  
"Perhaps for now we should merely concentrate on escaping from this building," Crais said.  
  
"With a bit of luck we'll get out with no problems."  
  
"Sorry," Commandant Veldone's voice came from behind them. They spun round. She raised her weapon. "Your luck has just run out."  
  
***  
  
Crais slowly came to and gazed blearily into the dim light.  
  
"Oh good, now you're both awake."  
  
Commandant Veldone stood, watching them from across the room.  
  
"I did hope," she said, "that you would see reason. All I asked was that you not interfere. But of course you couldn't do that, you're far too much like your mother."  
  
Crais realised that she was addressing Carma.  
  
"It really was very naive of you to think that you could spoil my plans Carma," she continued. "And it's very unfortunate that I will have to dispose of you."  
  
"Very unfortunate," Carma replied bitterly, "two down, one to go."  
  
"Oh really!" the Commandant laughed lightly. "You don't honestly believe that I caused the death of your mother, do you?"  
  
"I know you did."  
  
The Commandant shook her head. "No. I'm afraid...for the blame for that...you must look a little closer to home."  
  
"You can't seriously be suggesting that my father had anything to do with her death."  
  
"There is much that you don't know about your father."  
  
"Less than you think," Carma replied, eyeing her with ill-disguised hatred.  
  
The Commandant just smiled indulgently.  
  
"And you," she said, now addressing Crais, "you just couldn't leave quietly, could you? I must say you two make quite a pair - both dipping your hands into other people's business. It could have been so easy, but you had to make it difficult."  
  
"What do you intend to do with us?" Crais asked.  
  
"For now, leave you in capable hands while I decide how best to remove you. I wouldn't want anyone to suspect foul play," the Commandant replied, smiling.  
  
A door opened to the right of them. Carma and Crais turned their heads and shifted their eyes towards it. Crais knew instinctively who he would see, even before he did.  
  
Selon crossed the room in a few strides and came to stand in front of them.  
  
"Make sure that they are kept comfortable," the Commandant said to him.  
  
Carma and Crais followed her eyes to the impressive array of torture instruments decorating the wall.  
  
"Yes sir," Selon replied formally.  
  
The Commandant nodded to him, gave Carma a nasty grin and walked swiftly out. When she was gone, Selon turned silently to the wall display, apparently selecting his weapon of choice. Crais and Carma exchanged a look. Crais' eyes asked if Selon would really go through with this. Carma's eyes replied that he would.  
  
"Just answer one question," Carma said. "What does the Commandant want with Talyn?"  
  
"The ships we have allow us to rescue damaged ships. With fire power at our disposal, we could make this...conditional."  
  
"Charging for care is against everything we were built on," Carma said angrily.  
  
"The Commandant thinks otherwise."  
  
"Yeah," Carma said bitterly, "I just bet she does. And I'll bet that's only the beginning of her plans."  
  
She fell silent for a microt.  
  
"How could you do this?" she burst out suddenly. "How can you work for her? She'd kill you in a minute, kill me, she already killed my mother! What the frell is she giving you that's more important than that?!"  
  
Selon was still standing with his back to them. He stood silently for a moment, pausing in his selection. Then...  
  
"She didn't kill your mother."  
  
Carma's eyes bored into the back of his head.  
  
"Then who did?" she demanded.  
  
Selon turned slowly round and made eye contact, calm and unwavering.  
  
"I did," he replied simply.  
  
***  
  
"I'm telling you Aeryn, something's wrong. We can't have got here before them if nothing is wrong."  
  
"I doubt that we can enter the centre alone without being detected," Aeryn replied.  
  
"We can't just sit here! They are obviously in trouble, which means that Talyn is in trouble, which means that we are in trouble. Even if we can't save them, we have to get Talyn out!"  
  
Aeryn nodded, "Agreed."  
  
***  
  
"What do you mean 'you did'?" Carma demanded. "You can't honestly mean that she was actually telling the truth?"  
  
"Yes," Selon replied, turning back to the wall and his selection.  
  
"But why?" Carma said, her voice now sounding shaky. "How could you do it?"  
  
Selon paused again, then turned, this time with his chosen instrument in his hands.  
  
"Because I'm a bad man," he said, getting a firm grip on the weapon he was holding.  
  
They were raised from the floor, both chained to the wall at the feet and hands, stretched out. Crais' back muscles were screaming at him. They had no weapons, the wall was solid stone. Short of a miracle, they had no way out.  
  
Selon raised the weapon he held. Crais fought the temptation to close his eyes and wait for the inevitable, something he didn't remember ever feeling before.  
  
Suddenly Selon spun quickly and hit something on the wall. The device shattered and sparked. Before Crais could query what it was, Selon approached him. The blade came swinging towards him, Crais' eyes closed reflexively and he didn't see it land.  
  
It took him a microt to realise that he wasn't dead. He felt the blade swing past him again and suddenly his hands were free from the wall. He fell to his knees, but microts later his feet were free as well. Selon then moved onto Carma, breaking the bonds that held her.  
  
"Why are you doing this?" Carma asked.  
  
"Because I want this project brought down," Selon replied.  
  
"I thought you were on her side?"  
  
Selon grunted. "As you said, how can I serve someone who would kill my whole family?"  
  
He walked quickly to the door and left.  
  
"Do you trust him?" Crais asked.  
  
"Yes," Carma said, honestly. "But that doesn't mean that I should."  
  
"For the moment I suggest we do. We must keep trying to rescue Talyn."  
  
"What will Crichton and Aeryn have done when we didn't arrive?" Carma asked.  
  
"I do not know if we can count on their assistance. We must assume that we are alone."  
  
***  
  
"We can't go in there guns blazing because we don't have any frelling guns!" Carma said. "We've just got to bluff our way in and hope that Veldone hasn't told anyone about us."  
  
"Do you think she will have done?"  
  
Carma shook her head. "I doubt there's many people here that she trusts. If we're fast we can get in before she realises that we're gone."  
  
Moving as casually as they could, they swiftly made their way to the hanger where Talyn was being held.   
  
"You get on board and start re-activating his systems," Carma said out of the corner of her mouth as they entered the bay. "I have to send out the signal to the others here to get ready."  
  
"I thought you didn't know who any of them are?" Crais asked, once again suspicious.  
  
"I don't," Carma said impatiently, "but every agent has one of these," she said, indicating her communicator. "I can send out a pre-set signal that will tell everyone here to be prepared to back us up."  
  
"Your government are better organised that I imagined," Crais remarked.  
  
"Yeah, that they are," Carma muttered, as Crais climbed aboard Talyn.  
  
Once he was gone, she carefully activated the signal, taking care that nobody noticed what she was doing. There was no discernible reaction from anyone around her. The question was, were they simply not reacting, or were there no supporters to count on? She took a quick glance around the room, unconsciously lingering on the door. She jumped when it opened...and Crichton and Aeryn strode in.  
  
"Hey," Crichton called, "we came to visit your patients."  
  
Carma produced a credible smile.  
  
"Where's Crais?" Crichton asked when they had reached her.  
  
"On board Talyn, trying to activate his systems," Carma replied quietly. "I don't know how much time we have. Veldone knows what we're trying to do, but she still thinks we're tied up."  
  
"How'd you get away?" Crichton asked.  
  
Just at that moment Selon entered the room, closely followed by Commandant Veldone. Carma's expression changed at once.  
  
"We got help," she said, spitting out the last word. "Now we're on our own."  
  
"Get on board Talyn," Crichton said. "Me and Aeryn can take them."  
  
"This isn't your fight," Carma said. "And I have a few scores to settle."  
  
She turned to Selon. "You betrayed us...again!"  
  
"She found out," he muttered, "I can't go against her."  
  
"Why not?" Carma demanded.  
  
He looked up, and a moment of understanding passed between father and daughter.  
  
"They got you too," she said. "How long?"  
  
"Six cycles," he replied.  
  
"What's your level?"  
  
"Two and falling."  
  
"About six monens?"  
  
"Something like that."  
  
"You want out?" Carma asked calmly.  
  
"If you're offering."  
  
In once swift moment, Carma grabbed his pulse weapon and shot him through the heart. Her aim was perfect and he slumped to the floor, dead.  
  
"What the frell?" Crichton yelled.  
  
"It'll have to wait until later," Carma replied, turning to Veldone.  
  
"You don't imagine that merely depriving me of my second will save your life?" Veldone said.  
  
"I'm not here to save my life," Carma replied calmly, "I *merely* imagine that it will prevent you saving your own."  
  
"We're surrounded by my people," Veldone laughed.  
  
Carma gave a dry smile. "Are you quite sure of that?" she asked. "Let's do a little test."   
  
She walked up to Veldone, her pulse pistol raised and pressed it to the side of her skull.  
  
Several of the people around them made moves to help. The rest of the room suddenly came to life. Those few still loyal to Veldone were quickly subdued. Carma smiled. "I guess you've a little less support than you imagined."  
  
The first signs of fear flickered across Veldone's face. "What are you going to do with me?" she asked.  
  
"I'd like to kill you," Carma replied. "But that's not in my job description. So I'm going to hand you over to the rest of these people," she said, gesturing to the room. "They're going to do what they want until the executioners arrive."  
  
With that she threw the Commandant to the ground, where she was instantly tackled by two of the techs.  
  
"Let's go," Carma said.  
  
"Don't you want to stay a while?" Crichton asked, still a little stunned.   
  
Carma gave a last look at her father, lying on the ground.  
  
"I'm finished now," she replied.  
  
***  
  
"Do you not wish to return to your house before we leave?" Crais asked.  
  
"Can't go back," Carma said. "We have to leave now."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Just trust me on this, we have to. You wanted me to come, I'm coming."  
  
"I might remind you that if what we attempt is not successful, we may not be able to escape," Crais said.  
  
"Then we'd better hope it is," Carma replied grimly.  
  
***  
  
"You really think that Moya can pull Talyn through starburst with her?" Crichton asked Aeryn.   
  
"He is still much smaller than she is," Aeryn said. "And he can't starburst on his own, so it is our only option."  
  
"So we just have to pray this works," Crichton finished.  
  
***  
  
Crais and Carma stood on Talyn's bridge and braced themselves.  
  
"All in all, there are worse ways to die," Carma said.   
  
"I believe that this could be successful," Crais replied.  
  
"Even so."  
  
"You guys ready?" Crichton's voice came over the comms.  
  
"We are prepared," Crais replied.  
  
"Good luck," Crichton said. Then, as an afterthought, "...again."  
  
The light from Moya's starburst filled the viewscreen, the command was flooded with light and its two occupants prepared to face whatever lay beyond. 


	7. Complications

Chapter 7: Complications  
  
"You are entrusting my brain into her hands?" Crais asked, memories of surgical scissors in his leg at the front of his mind.  
  
"I told you that I needed someone else with medical expertise to do this operation. Jool is perfectly well qualified. Unless you prefer to remain with a three cycle gap in your memory?"  
  
"I promise not to jab anything into your brain," Jool said, with a small smile.  
  
Crais gave Carma a doubtful look.  
  
"Honestly," she said, "any other man in the whole uncharted territories would be thrilled to have the undivided attention of two women for three arns. Now lie back, relax and we'll take a look inside your skull."  
  
"How comforting," Crais replied, just before Carma knocked him out.  
  
***  
  
Crais woke, feeling slightly groggy and tried to focus on his surroundings.  
  
"How are you feeling?" Jool asked.  
  
"Was the operation a success?" he asked, looking around. "And where is Carma?"  
  
"Carma has gone to keep Talyn company. We successfully removed the neural blocker, but I don't know how long it will take for your memories to resurface. It could take several days before you notice any difference."  
  
Crais nodded. "I must return to Talyn," he said, and tried to get up. He discovered that he was locked into a stabiliser.  
  
Jool grinned. "Carma insisted on at least three arns for you to recover. She said this was the only way to get you to take them."  
  
Irritation flashed across Crais' face as he reluctantly lay back. Jool grinned again. "Don't worry Crais," she said. "If you're a good boy, I'll let you out in two!"  
  
***  
  
He found Carma on Talyn's bridge.  
  
"Feeling better?" she asked.  
  
"I would have preferred not to have spent two arns unable to move with only Jool for company," he replied.  
  
"It was in your best interests. I wanted to give your body time to start recovering after the operation. I knew you'd be up, trying to finish repairing Talyn, the moment you woke if I'd let you. You went through a serious procedure."  
  
"And now it is over," Crais said, putting his hands on her shoulders.  
  
She shrugged him off. "Bialar...Crais, I still don't think we should get involved."  
  
"I am no longer your patient."  
  
"When I said that carers didn't become involved with patients, I didn't automatically mean that we would become lovers when that had changed."  
  
"I gained that impression," Crais replied, slowly moving round to stand in front of her.  
  
She avoided his eyes. "That's not my fault."  
  
"May I ask what is holding you back?" he asked, studying her face.  
  
"Is it so hard to believe that I just don't think we'd make a good match?"  
  
Crais shook his head. "In the short time I have known you my perception of you has been altered so many times, I no longer even imagine that I understand your motives. You seem to change your intentions from microt to microt. But one thing I am sure of is that you want us to share more than danger."  
  
She looked back at him, her expression hard. "Whatever you believe my feelings to be, my answer is still no. There is no chance that I will change my mind. Just...accept it. It is for the best."  
  
"I cannot agree with that."  
  
She didn't answer. As she walked out he caught a few muttered words. They sounded like 'you will'.  
  
***  
  
The sleep cycle had begun, but Crais was determined to know what was going on. Some instinct told him that she would still be awake as he was. He strode down the corridors on Talyn until he reached her quarters and activated the door controls.  
  
He shivered when he entered the room. The temperature felt far below optimum, far enough to be uncomfortable for him. After a microt, though, this slid far from his mind when he spotted the figure on the bed.  
  
She was curled up, arms wrapped around her stomach as if she was in pain, moving constantly and making feverish, incoherent sounds. He almost ran the few steps to the bed. He put a hand to her forehead and recoiled instantly at the heat radiating from her. One thing was certain, something was very wrong.  
  
Instructing Talyn to inform Moya of their imminent arrival, he scooped her up and carried her quickly to the hanger. Bundling both of them into a transport pod he flew as rapidly as he dared to Moya, where Pilot greeted them in confusion. Giving Pilot instructions to wake Jool and send her to the medilab, Crais hurried there himself, Carma in his arms, completely obliviously to her surroundings.  
  
***  
  
"Tell me what is wrong with her," Crais growled, worry shortening his temper.  
  
A decidedly sleepy and rumpled Jool glared back at him. "I won't know until I finish running the blood test, which will take longer if you keep interrupting me."  
  
Crais turned back to Carma, a worried look flashing over his features.  
  
"I'm working as fast as I can," Jool said, in a more comforting tone. "The ice bath should help to keep her temperature down, I can't do anything else until I know what's causing this."  
  
Crais nodded in acknowledgement, his eyes never leaving Carma's unconscious form.  
  
Jool looked at her results. Her brow furrowed and she studied the sample through a microscope. Crais noticed her expression.  
  
"What is it?" he asked.  
  
Jool bit her lip and looked up at him. "Her entire system is flooded with Herazine, it's a metabolic bi-product of Deuterol," she replied.  
  
"What is that?" Crais asked, searching his memory and drawing a blank.  
  
Jool hesitated again. "It's a narcotic Crais. Extremely powerful and highly addictive, dependence develops very quickly. Judging by the levels in her blood and the damage to her internal organs, she must have been using it for at least five cycles, probably longer."  
  
"And that is why she is ill," Crais said, emotions battling inside him.  
  
"Wherever her supply is from, she doesn't have any more of it. Her body has gone into withdrawal, it can't function without the drug."  
  
"What can you do to help?"  
  
"Nothing," Jool said. "The only way to stop the symptoms is to get more of the drug. Production is tightly regulated and we could never get sufficient currency to buy enough. Besides, the drug is destroying her body. Even if we get her more, I predict that it will cause organ failure within a few cycles and ill health long before that. I can't do anything to help her."  
  
"There must be some way?" Crais demanded.  
  
"Maybe there is, but I have no idea what," Jool replied helplessly.  
  
Crichton chose that moment to walk in, rubbing his eyes. "Hey Crais, Pilot said you were down here...what the hell happened?" he asked, spotting Carma.  
  
"Her body is suffering intense withdrawal," Jool supplied.  
  
"Withdrawal from what?"   
  
"A drug called Deuterol."  
  
"She's a drug addict now?" Crichton asked. "Man Crais, you really know how to pick 'em."  
  
"If you have nothing helpful to add Crichton," Crais snapped, "I suggest that you leave."  
  
"How long will it take to get through this?" Crichton asked. "Then we can get some answers."  
  
Jool looked back at him. "Her body is in shock. Her chances of survival are almost non-existent."  
  
"There has to be something we can do," Crais said again, wanting to believe it.  
  
Crichton looked thoughtful. "You've got to get the remains of the drug out of her system first, right? Couldn't we just use Moya's filters to pump it out of her?"  
  
"I do not know if that would be possible," Crais replied.  
  
"Yeah it is, we already did it one time when Aeryn was sick," Crichton said, thinking. "They had this thing on Earth where they could put you under and pump like cleansing fluid through you until they got it cleaned out of your system so you didn't have to go through the withdrawal."  
  
Jool looked doubtful. "Even if we remove all the remains of the drug, I don't know if her body can survive without it."  
  
"We must try something," Crais said. "I suggest that we do not waste time."  
  
"I'll fix it up with Pilot, you bring the patient," Crichton said.  
  
Crais, Crichton and Jool hurried down the corridor, each silently hoping that this would work.  
  
***  
  
Crais' face slowly swam into focus.  
  
"Hi," Carma whispered groggily.  
  
"Hello," Crais replied.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"We have removed all traces of the drug from your body and cleansed your system as best we could," Crais replied.  
  
"How am I?" Carma asked softly.  
  
"Jool predicts that you will make a full recovery."  
  
He was lying and she knew it.  
  
"Are you going to give me an explanation?" he asked, uncertain whether or not to press her.  
  
"Will any one do or does it have to be the truth?" Carma asked weakly.  
  
"I would prefer the truth," Crais replied.  
  
Carma closed her eyes for a moment. "You ever wonder how someone goes from being a carer to being a spy?"  
  
"On many occasions."  
  
"It's quite easy, you just remove all their other options," Carma said, a note of bitterness entering her weak voice. "As soon as the government heard that my father was involved with the Veldone's project, they recalled me to the national training centre. Everyone in the medical profession goes there to be trained and evaluated. I didn't think it was anything out of the ordinary, and at first it wasn't."  
  
She stopped a moment to steady her breath.  
  
"Then they took me off into the interview rooms and they asked me if I would take the job of spying on my father. I told them I didn't want to. All I wanted to be was a carer, not a spy. They said...fine," she said, spitting out the last word. "I didn't know they were already feeding me that stuff. Ever since the day I walked in the building. After that interview they stopped giving it to me and I got sick. That's when they told me...that I had to do it or I wouldn't get any more of it, and if I didn't get more I'd most likely die. I'd never felt anything like the pain I had when they took it away, I was pretty much willing to do anything not to feel it again. They've supplied it to me ever since and I've kept doing their job. Now the contract's run out."  
  
"And they would allow you to suffer and die."  
  
"If I had stayed they'd have used me again for something else, until the drug finally killed me anyway. I don't want to live like that anymore. I'd rather just die here."  
  
"You are not going to die," Crais said definitely.  
  
"Sorry Captain, it's out of your control."  
  
"You are *not* going to die," Crais said again. "You can survive. You survived the purging process which was far more terrible than this. All you have to do is to focus on regaining your strength."  
  
"So I can do what exactly? There isn't much call for a carer or a spy around here."  
  
Crais smiled. "I am certain that I can find something for you to do," he said.  
  
Carma gave a weak smile. "Maybe it would be safer to ask someone else," she said.  
  
Jool and Crichton stood just outside the doorway, unknown to Crais and Carma, watching them.  
  
"Crais has found himself someone other than Aeryn to think about. That has to be a good thing," Crichton said.  
  
"Don't get his hopes up Crichton," Jool replied.  
  
"You don't think she'll make it then?"  
  
Jool turned to him sadly, "it would be a miracle if she even makes it through the   
night."  
  
FIN  
  
A/N: This story has a complete sequel and an incomplete third part (currently being written), which I will probably not post here. If you would like to read them, go here:  
http://pub120.ezboard.com/ffarscapediscussionfrm35. The sequel is 'Wounds', the third part 'The Quick Fix'. 


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